Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
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