Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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