yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
