I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
