Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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