My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
