dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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