Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My pussy is not your playground.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
