I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
