My pussy is not your playground.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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