Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
