they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
