I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
