pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
