dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
