so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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