can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
