Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she pinky promised me she was 18
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
