You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
