think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
