I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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