Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
