It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize