Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
