i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Randomize
