Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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