I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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