I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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