She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
