I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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