You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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