I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
