Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
