I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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