She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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