Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
