Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
