Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
