Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Randomize
