He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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