My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize