so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
