So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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