found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
