Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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