Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize