Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
