The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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