I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
