You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
