My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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