I just threw up on my dentist
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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