Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I stole a fireplace last night.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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