I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
