Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
