I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
