btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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