So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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