I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
two words: eviction party
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
