Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I think people are normalizing furries
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
