check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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