I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
