just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
