Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize