She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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