i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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