Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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