They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
