I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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