Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
